The Dragon, The Princess and The Plumber
by One-Trick Man
Summary: Loosely inspired by the popular fan-game: Kill the Plumber. Imagine if Bowser was a hero and Mario was a notorious, perverted murderer? What would the Mushroom World be like then? Find out here! Pairings: BowserxPeach, MarioxShyGirl, LuigixDaisy, OCxRosalina (Suggested). Rated M for lots of sexual content, violence/gore, dark themes, swearing and mentioning of abuse. Please R&R!


Bowser strolled through his castle, happily whistling. Life was perfect at that moment, absolutely exquisite. He had his own castle, troops and even a wife, who, might I add, was both gorgeous and amazing in bed!

And he was finally losing weight!

The Koopa Kingdom was at last at peace, and so was everyone inside. The only thing that still bothered Bowser was that fool of a plumber, Mario.

The next-door-neighbour to the Koopa Kingdom, i.e. the Mushroom Kingdom, was a beautiful land inhabited by Toads and ruled by an old man named King Toadstone IV. However, it was also the home of notorious and frankly quite cocky plumber bros, Mario and Luigi.

Mario & Luigi were complete and total jerks who actually had the nerve to not only pretend to do good and then commit many crimes, but also try to become intimate with any attractive girl they passed. Although that was more Mario than Luigi. They were also quite strong, and no Toad alive dared to challenge them. They also had their minds set on their shared love-interest at times. Her name was Princess Peach, a beautiful girl who used to rule the Mushroom Kingdom, but was physically abused by her husband who she was forced to marry; this led to her fleeing to the Koopa Kingdom to be with her true love while Mario and Luigi constantly tried to bring her back. Luckily, Bowser was always there to save the day and get rid of the Mario Bros.

One day, Bowser and Mario had a massive fight, and Mario was ultimately defeated. Since then, he never returned to the Koopa Kingdom, and Peach never left. They both assumed this was either because Mario had finally gone to hell, or he was too frightened to risk the same pain he went through in his last battle with Bowser.

To celebrate, 3 different things happened.

Bowser threw a massive party with all of his friends, children and troops, and then another to celebrate his marriage to Princess Peach, and then finally they consummated their marriage. It was a glorious day and all citizens of the Kingdom were glowing with joy.

Unfortunately, the happiness did not last. For Bowser had just returned from his honeymoon, and had told his newly married lover that he had to check his throne room and pick up a couple of things, before returning to her.

When he arrived at his throne room, what he observed switched a furnace on in his heart.

Someone had invaded his castle and completely ruined his marvellous throne room.. On a wall to his side were threatening words written in pure, cold, wet blood, which also meant someone was attempting to strike fear into his heart; but it didn't, it simply enraged him.

From the red wall he read, "Thy life is doomed, and the Princess yonder shalt be mine. Thou art forever alone with thy guilt and despair-eth. Thou art pathetic!"

He stormed out of the room and walked past his beloved, completely ignoring her reaction. He didn't want to, but he couldn't tell her what was wrong or she'd have a panic attack. He walked into Bowser JR's room and woke him up.

"Papa!" he whispered, rolling over to face his father.

"No time to talk, come with me..." Bowser said emotionlessly. He practically dragged his son out of his bed and led him into a secret room on an underground floor of the castle.

"Junior, this is is Commander Koopasaurus, a dragon with a blessing, he was born with the abilities of a Dinosaur. Normally, Dinosaurs would be much weaker, but since they haven't existed since ancient times, nobody knows how to fight them. Except, this one survived. Koopasaurus will look after you when I'm busy, for I'm afraid that we're in grave danger..." Bowser explained, pointing at a strange-looking Koopa.  
"He's the most powerful and important being on this planet for us good guys right now, so don't pick a fight with him. See you later Junior," he added, slapping his confused son on the back. He then ran off leaving his son in the company of the Dinosaur/Dragon hybrid.

"So, uh, Kid? You know how to breath fire?" Koopasaurus asked. Bowser JR. only responded by rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Bowsie? What's wrong?" Peach asked, feeling sad that the love of her life was ignoring her.  
"I can't tell you because you'll hate it either way!" Bowser yelled, pacing up and down the room, then he realised that he was being too mean, and added, "Sorry, but you won't like it."  
"Just tell me!" Peach said, feeling like crying at the thought of her beloved disregarding her and keeping secrets that she might possibly make better.

Unfortunately, while Bowser knew exactly what he was doing, one thing he wasn't aware of was that Mario was actually standing a bare 2450 Feet away from him,

"...But what does that all mean?" Peach persisted, after hearing what Bowser had to say.  
"Well, either it means we're in grave danger, or worse, war has been declared..." Bowser summarized. Peach followed this by gasping loudly. Just then, they both heard an insanely loud trio of bangs on the large front doors.

"Oh dear," Peach mumbled.

Suddenly, a booming alarm sounded all throughout the castle, while outside a powerful high-frequency sound was being manipulated to stun its target.  
A voice shouted into a microphone and was heard throughout the castle via speakerphones, it announced, "Attention all troopers, attention all troopers. We are under attack, we require as much help as possible; CODE RED AND BLUE!"

A state of panic was thrust into the troopers like a wave of darkness, and they reluctantly marched to the front door. For a while there wasn't much action, and every last fighter in the Koopa Kingdom was waiting in front of the front doors, lined up in multiple single-file lines. Eventually, more banging was heard and the door was at last brought down face-first. As it collapsed, due to its great size, the front few troopers were forced to dodge the falling door, thus throwing them off-guard.

A red and blue blur blasted through at that moment, practically throwing itself into the swarm of Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Piranha Plants, Hammer Bros., you name it!

"ATTACK!" a familiar voice screamed through the speakerphone. It was Comm. Koopasaurus. By his command, the army fought back with all their might, slashing, kicking, punching, shooting, throwing, firing, and so on...

The blur, now appearing to be Mario, was stronger however, and eliminated all of those who stood in his way. Unfortunately, the despicable man caused the great hall to be turned into a corridor of dead, hurt and terrified troopers. Mario himself didn't care though, he sped through as many corridors as he could find, before finally discovering a real challenge blocking his way. While he was boiling with determination and confidence, the sight of a dino-dragon just around the corner still sent shivers down his spine.

He waited for his opponent just out of reach.

Commander Koopasaurus dashed past the corner at that moment, desperately and aggressively searching every nook and cranny for the plumber he so strongly despised.

Bowser JR. was no longer with him, and had mysteriously disappeared.

Still, while nobody knew how to slay a Dino-dragon, Mario certainly knew how to stun one. After a while, the Commander found Mario, and accused him of cowardice due to his pesky, pathetic hiding idea. Mario was enraged by this and pulled out his Micro Fire Flower from under his hat threateningly. Koopasaurus took this opportunity to be impatient and take the first strike.

Yet Mario wasn't going to allow this. Nothing could stop him once he was so close to achieving something he wanted, especially if it was a girl he wanted to bang so hard she wouldn't be able to walk the next morning.

Or could that nothing become a something?

Koopasaurus charged at Mario, pushing his elbow in front of him to intensify the impact caused if he crashed. Mario countered this by throwing the Micro Fire Flower into the air, jumping high and bouncing of Koopasaurus' head. He grabbed the Flower again and violently crushed it in his hand, absorbing the fiery energy. Flames flowed through his veins as he transformed.

Although Fire Mario was certainly at least 3x as dangerous as normal Mario, the Commander was persistent - he roughly bit Mario on the ankle and tossed him against a wall, forcing Mario to crash into it.

A moment or two later he fell out the wall and ran at Koopasaurus, firing a strong flare at his enemy. Being a Dino-Dragon, this allowed the Commander to possess a certain extent of immunity towards fire, thus he lifted his foot and uppercut the fireball into the ceiling, causing it to collapse in on itself and block Mario's way. This infuriated him and so he ran at it, hammer clutched tightly into his hands behind him, and he broke straight through the wall. Dizzy from the hard rocks hitting him, he stumbled over to Koopasaurus, whacking him in the stomach with the hammer. Koopasaurus laughed at this.  
"Puny," he grinned, before kicking Mario through a window. Now being quite high up, Mario ended up falling a great deal of altitude, screaming helplessly, to his supposed death.

Sadly, a rapid fall wasn't enough to defeat the perverted murderer, and he somehow survived. Someone caught him at the very last moment and helped him all the way back up to the irritated commander.

"Bye, bye... Dino-freak!" Mario mocked, before leaping up sucker-punching the dinosaur in the face. Cleverly, Koopasaurus pretended to be knocked out and 'fell to the ground unconscious.' He smirked to himself and waited for Mario to pass. When he did, he arose once more and picked up his emergency weapon. Mario was just about to stroll around the corner, directly opposite to where Koopasaurus had come from, but the genius commander prevented him from going any further.  
He called out, "Hey puny plumber!" Mario spun round at this point, frightened, and he added, "See you in hell!"

Mario couldn't understand, but he figured it out relatively quickly when the commander propelled a massive bob-omb at him, sending him flying into the oblivion.

"NOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as he flew all the way back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Once again, the Koopa Kingdom had won.

Cheers, Whistles, Applauses and Screams could be heard at that moment all throughout the Kingdom as every grown man and woman watched and witnessed as Comm. Koopasaurus taught Mario a very valuable-but-useless lesson. Even Bowser JR. had returned from his disappearance and congratulated him. The only person who didn't applaud was Bowser himself.

While Peach squealed with happiness, Bowser gazed solemnly out of the nearby window, watching the beautiful sunset.

"It's only a matter of time..." he muttered.  
"Sorry, sweetie?" Peach asked, ended her applause.  
"The moustached plumber clearly had something up his sleeve if he was intending to wait _this_ long to attack once more, he's obviously been training, or preparing, or something like that, and it's only a matter of time before our situation becomes unbearable. We need to be ready, because soon we may be under attack. Our only chance at survival is preparedness. We know precisely what the Mushroom Kingdom is capable of, and we need to be ready for anything they have to throw at us, and to be able to thwart whatever evil schemes they're hatching, possibly as we speak..." Bowser explained briefly. Peach shuddered at the thought of a war, or worse, a bloodshed - but she was aware of the current situation at hand and acknowledged that the Koopa Kingdom may have no choice but to fight back, thusly she nodded in agreement.

"But..." Bowser continued, "Whatever happens, just remember that I love you, Peachy. Don't ever forget that, okay? I don't care if my kingdom falls, all I care about right now is you. If that bastard lays one single finger on your delicate body, I will personally come for him when he's not watching his back. Okay?" Peach simply nodded again in response to this.  
"Good," he sighed, "Just... good..."

* * *

 **Next Time: Challenge of the 3-UP Moon. (Stay Tuned!)  
**

 **What did you think of this chapter? If you liked it, please leave a review! I really want to hear your opinions!**


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